Social media can really be a gift and a curse for a number of different reasons. On the positive side, it allows like-minded people to connect globally, inspire or become inspired and stay in contact with old and new friends. Social media, unfortunately, can have many down sides too. I won’t name them all, but as a new social media “person” I can say that people start to view you through a curated social media image.  It’s hard for some people to see that between stylized shoots or vacations that there is real life!  There are real struggles and real pain that everyone is dealing with no matter how fantastic their Instagram feed appears. Personally, I have been through some rough patches. I am officially divorced which came with distancing myself from the actual life I had, the many relationships  associated with that story, as well as the idea and even dreams I had for that life.  I have a father who has been ill for about a decade now that has created a lot of other kinds of pain for me as well. BUT that’s life.  It comes with lots of peaks, valleys, twist and turns. It’s okay to be sad when a tough part comes out of nowhere, but the key is not STAYING sad. I view life like the tights in these photos. You can either look at them like they have big spots that ruin them or a unique series of shapes that  create a special look ( or probably just leopard print tights but that would ruin the point I am trying to make). I choose the latter. I choose to wear my spots with pride. They are a part of me and they are part of strengthening my character and shaping the person who I want to be.

If you are reading this and struggling with accepting your “spots”, remember a few things:

1) There are a lot of challenges that all of us are dealing with. Don’t waste your time on the comparison game (especially on social media). You are uniquely you. You are meant to be you and were made you for a reason. Spend more time finding out what that is and pursue it passionately. Don’t give up if it takes a while to figure it out!

2) If anything challenging happens to you that forces you to shift your life, give yourself a little time to be sad. I think that is okay. We are human and sadness is a normal emotion. Feeling sad and remaining a sad person are totally different things. After a little mourning, you have to start focusing on how the life shift is going to create a space for something new. Focus less on the challenging thing and more on the opportunity it creates. For me, I started to focus on fashion in the space I created with the loss of a “ life” I had. When space opened up because of a life shift, I refused to just fill that space with sadness. I saw it as an opportunity because it made me stronger.

3) If you are hiding behind your spots or misfortunes because of what you think people may or will say about you, you are wasting your precious life. Anything gossipy anyone can say will have no real impact, IF you don’t let it. When you focus on yourself, and the strength you are gaining from overcoming a hardship, you won’t have time to worry about any negative stuff only haters will say. Your real friends will be proud of you. Block out any negative chatter and spend  time discovering how and ways a life obstacle can lead to something positive for you.

Hat from Asos

Top from Zheodonna

Tights from Calzedonia

Skirt from Pimkie